I only started this blog two days ago and something happened to me this morning that was so out of the ordinary, it was like the world decided to plonk this bizarre and ludicrous incident into my life on purpose, as if to say “here write about this, the people will like it.”
I’d woken up in a daze; when half asleep my decision was to open the curtains and windows wide in my bedroom, inviting in the beautiful sun and the sound of birds a-tweetin’! laying there, eyes closed and very much relaxed I noticed another sound had joined the tweets and chirps, a dull scratching sound. Lazily opening my eyes and turning to the window, the sight of a fat squirrel chilling on my window sill, sniffing at a football trophy, was enough to shock me out of the lethargic state I was in and nearly make me fall out of the bed. A bloody squirrel in my room! Don’t laugh at me, they’re big… they’re huge!
From afar they’re cute little critters, however when sat a meter from your head a squirrel is not the lovely little tree climber we percieve them as, it’s a lion that threatens your life! Ok, not really, but I’m trying to justify my reaction to seeing this squirrel in my room, it’s emergence was met with an embarressing chorus of “Oh my god”, “Bloody hell” and “sh*t, sh*t, sh******ttttttt!”
The squirrel reacted in a much more composed fashion. Well, not really. It proceeded in doing its best impression of that fly that finds entering your room the easiest task in the world, only to discover that travelling back the other way requires an extensive period of head-banging against glass. The poor fella didn’t save much dignity as he repeatedly leapt headfirst into the window pane, I won’t lie.
But finally and thankfully it managed to jump through the right window, onto the conservatory below and back into the wilderness; leaving me to ponder what had just occured, with the chance of further sleep inhibited due to the state of shock this little creature had put me in. I climbed back into bed, my heart pounding as hard as ever.
So I warn you readers before you judge me, I know I reacted like a little girl, but squirrels are deadly! you wait until the same happens to you, then come back to me!